One common theme among Narcissists is the need for DRAMA. In this short post, I’ll list these DRAMAS that I recognise in my own Narc mother. Write your own list, stand back from it and become aware. From awareness comes empowerment. My mother’s dramas revolve around HER (of course).
She’s feeling down and calls me up. Something terrible has happened she tells me. Me, fearing the worst, find out that her ‘down moment’ is because she’s seen a dress in a shop and she doesn’t know if she has enough money to buy it for herself.
Drama number two: the world is ending, she cannot sleep. She’s waking up in the middle of the night and wants to call the ambulance because she is having (made up) chest pains. The ambulance comes (a waste of valuable NHS resources) and the paramedics do their best for her, finding that she is in prime health, and the only issue is that she wants someone to talk to. This in itself is sad, if it weren’t for the fact that she does not know how to have a conversation with ANYONE. EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS ABOUT HER.
Drama three: She wants to go on holiday and needs one of us adult kids to help her organise it. Then she goes on holiday with the tour group and they call us up and tell us they are worried about her. She is acting inappropriately, they say. Drama ensues. The Narc sister gets everyone to rally round and there’s talk of going to get Narc mother and bring her home. After all, she’s a naughty teenager or a problem child, right?
Drama four: I organise a trip for her, a nice day out and she doesn’t show up. I can’t get hold of her on the phone, and spend hours trying to find her. When she does eventually show up, she tells me about the lovely walk she went on and refuses to acknowledge or apologise for standing me up.
You get the picture. All of these scenarios should have been written about in past tense but these are all past events. I don’t allow her to do this to me anymore. I have gone very limited contact, an occasional phone call where everything is DRAMA and all about her.
My mother’s NARC DRAMAS are endless. The list is long.
Protect yourself from toxic DRAMA.